On Wednesday I went back to my HMR meeting (the one I missed the week before due to life's chaos) and was disappointed to find I did not lose any weight -- in fact I gained a tiny bit. and it's like, what the heck is going on here? I guess running uphill once in San Francisco isn't enough. I admit I missed the aqua aerobics completely this past week -- just couldn't awaken early enough. I have loads going on -- with the full-time job and those 2 classes on Wednesday and Thursday nights at DeAnza, while I love them, are KICKING MY BUTT! they are writing classes...everything I do involves writing or playing music on my ukulele. so I spend a lot of time doing that -- or SITTING at work...yes I try to be active and I try to keep track of everything. but sometimes I forget to put them into my "Lose It' program.
my life "feels" a little chaotic, but I have to figure out a way to make this work, to finally get rid of these last 40 pounds that hang on to me for dear life and don't want to let go! those 40 pounds have been with me for so many years now...they are stubborn, they're yelling, "NOOO! DON'T GET RID OF ME!" I said that about all that extra weight when I finally got under 200 pounds too...I felt like I would NEVER get under 200 pounds and I did... but I can't let myself go back up there again, I just can't.
I'm trying to find that "magic" that occurred when I did lose all this weight...I haven't quite found it yet. but hopefully I will soon. :/ it's just so frustrating at times.
